Hoe overleef je een rouwproces

Grief

Hoe overleef je een rouwproces?

Iedereen heeft het weleens meegemaakt of gaat het meemaken. Bij de een sneller dan verwacht en bij de ander zal het nog jaren duren voordat die periode aanbreekt. Hoe overleef je een rouwproces?

Het is niet iets waar men graag over praat. Maar voor veel  mensen is het de moeilijkste periode van hun leven en hebben het nodig om te praten. Een ding is zeker….. als je door een rouwproces gaat, volgen we allen hetzelfde proces.
 
Voor mij brak deze periode 3 jaar terug aan. Ik verloor mijn zusje en belanden in een regelrechte nachtmerrie, een draaimolen waar ik niet uit kon stappen. Het overkomt je gewoon….
Iemand verliezen die je zo dierbaar is en waar je zo close mee bent is niet in woorden te beschrijven, de reacties en acties van mensen om je heen (negatief of positief) trouwens ook niet. Ik leefde van minuut tot minuut en vroeg mezelf af hoe ik de volgende minuten (in hel) zou doorstaan. Ik zag werkelijk alles somber in.
 
 

 

           "Burned in the fire of sadness, strength is born"
 

Overleven!

Er zijn mensen die ons voor zijn gegaan, die vandaag de dag het verdriet overleeft hebben, opnieuw hun leven hebben opgebouwd en het verdriet een plek hebben gegeven. Als je nu door een rouwproces heen gaat, met het gevoel dat je donkere wolk,  gevoelens, verdriet, woede en afwijkend gedrag nooit over zullen gaan.
Wees gesterkt, er komt een moment dat jij je weer beter gaat voelen. En dat is natuurlijk niet wat veel mensen op zo'n moment willen  horen, daar heb je ruimte voor nodig. Maar weet dat je lichaam en geest er op gebouwd zijn om dit te kunnen verwerken.
 

Vertrouw op je lichaam

Het verdriet ver weg stoppen was voor mij geen optie, ik wilde eigenlijk gelijk beginnen met het verwerken. Maar lichamelijk en geestelijk voelde ik me volledig leeg gedraind. Ik viel kilo's af, zonder daar iets aan te doen. En de ene levensvraag na de ander maalde in mijn hoofd. Ik was nergens bang voor, het kon me allemaal niet schelen. En mijn vertrouwen in het leven en mensen daalde naar een nulpunt. Ik kon dus niks afdwingen, maar moest het volledig z'n gang laten gaan.
 
Wat ik in deze periode merkte is dat mijn geest niet alles in een keer kon of wilde verwerken, het besef van verlies kwam in gedeeltes. Dat houdt je staande. De beelden (van de gebeurtenissen) die als een film (in het begin) constant in je hoofd afdraaien, heb je nodig om afscheid te nemen van je dierbare en de verandering die (plotseling) in je leven heeft plaatsgevonden. Je geest heeft het nodig om alles op een rij te zetten en (alweer) om het te verwerken (je verliest dus niet je verstand!). Huilbuien komen en gaan, ook wanneer het niet uitkomt, geef het de ruimte.
 

Neem de tijd

Rouw kent geen tijd, er staat geen periode voor. Rouw neemt zijn tijd. Het is een natuurlijk proces. En een natuurlijk proces werkt pas echt goed als je het de ruimte geeft om te doen wat het moet doen.
Geef het geen tijd, en het zal de nodige tijd op een gegeven moment opeisen.
 
Voor een ieder is een verwerkingsproces moeilijk, maar je moet er doorheen om  weer te kunnen functioneren in het leven. Het is dus belangrijk dat je het verdriet toelaat. Je lichaam weet hoe het deze trauma moet verwerken. En je zult merken dat de huilbuien en de vervelende gevoelens die je hebt, steeds minder vaak opkomen borrelen op het moment dat je het verdriet erkent.
 

Tips:

  • Herinner jezelf er aan dat jij verdriet hebt, het verdriet heeft jou niet.
  • Het verdriet komt in golven. Ontken het niet als er weer een verdrietgolf  op komt. Aanvaard, durf het te voelen en weet dat dit ook voorbij zal gaan.
  • Zwem niet tegen de golven in. Put jezelf niet uit door tegen het verdriet te vechten. Ga mee met de golf en je zult zien dat je verdrietgolf sneller weg ebt. Na elke voorbijgaande golf zal je sterker worden.
  • als je het gevoel hebt dat je het niet alleen kan verwerken, zoek dan een coach die hier in gespecialiseerd is. Een coach kan je helpen om het verdriet te leren plaatsen en een ander perspectief te krijgen op de situatie.
 

"Niks kan veranderen tot dat het volledig geaccepteerd is"

 
"Mijn rouwperiode was voor mij als een diepe geestelijke reiniging. In de bijbel noemt men het louteren. Mijn geloof bracht houvast en rust in de chaos. Ik heb veel geleerd. Ik kreeg een nieuwe kijk op het leven en voel me geestlijk verrijkt en sterk."
 
"Er zijn momenten dat ik stil moet staan….vooral met de feestdagen, maar ik overleef het."
 
Blessings, Brigida
 
 
In loving memory of Gioia Reba Tresna Fonseca
My Endless love
 
 

 

About The Author

Brigida is een Personal Artists Coach. Met o.a. Transformatie en Breakthrough sessies, helpt ze artiesten hun uniekheid te vinden, balans te creëren en blokkades weg te werken, om vol overgave hun doel en passie in het leven te ontdekken en te bereiken!

Brigida studeerde af als Bachelor of Laws, NLP Master Practitoner, NLP Master Coach, Law of Attraction Practitioner, IEMT / MOM / TimeLine & Hypnose Therapeut.

Brigida – who has written posts on .


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